Never stop running.

I have been reminded of how unfair life actually is sometimes (most of the time, actually, haha.)

Yesterday, was definitely not my day. For one, the sked for our track and field game was pushed way down into the late afternoon--- from 1pm to around 4pm. Imagine the agony of waiting.

So, by the time I was supposed to run. I couldn't lift my legs properly and ended up being yelled at by an audience member, "Okay ra na, doc!" NO. IT IS NOT OKAY. I have waited (and prepared) for months for this and my body refused to cooperate. Unacceptable.

Extremely disappointed with myself. I thought, maybe I could redeem myself with the last event, which was the 4x100m relay. In my 10 years of running, this has been the first time I ran as the last runner.When we drew lots as to decide which lane we ran, we got assigned to the lane that's nearest the audience.

Everything went downhill from there. During the relay, as I was running towards the finish line, someone crossed right in front of me and I HAD TO PUSH her to the side or we'll end up crashing at each other and who knows what else could have happened. Then the next thing I knew, I lost sight of my lane since everyone was crowding the runway.

I still ran as fast as I could but ended up with burning eyes when I reached the finish line. I knew I couldn't hold back my tears any longer so I ran away from the finish line to the opposite end of the soccer field.

I can't seem to forgive myself for what has happened. I am extremely disappointed with how I performed during the games.

I feel like an absolute loser for getting beaten at my own game. I can't take it. I will take this to the grave. ///// yes, I am that bitter. Forgive me. My heart just can't take the pain.

This year's Intrams was not meant for me. But I have decided (just a few hours ago, haha) to never stop running, no matter what. I will be better. Praying for redemption for next year. I will be back.