All my life I have wished to God a bajillion times how much I'd want to meet All Time Low especially Alex Gaskarth (love of my life). God is just so awesome, I tell you. My heart feels so heavy right now and regret has been my best friend these past few days.
I have post concert depression (at its worst). One of my biggest regrets (I have a ton) in my life happened last September 22, 2011 in Shangrila Hotel. I was with my friends Mariel and Frances in Shangrila Hotel along with some other fans "stalking" the band and hopefully get to meet them somehow. We saw Matt Flyzik (the awesomest band manager ever) passing by us. We couldn't take a picture with him because he's so busy and he apologized to us. Then we saw Rian (drummer) walk by us with a crew member from the restaurant. SHOOT. I froze in place when I saw him. We tried calling him but apparently, his hearing is just so bad that all he ever did was walk by us and half glanced at us. :( *cries forever*
Then Jack (guitarist) came out and.. HE WAS ALONE. Jackpot!! haha But he ran through the other entrance when he saw us trying to run to him and we couldn't follow him because there were these hotel security people guarding. //slits wrist But there was this girl who really ran to Jack and made him sign a bunch of cds. Badass. :) Jack then went to the restaurant because he still needs to eat.
We kept on seeing crew members. We would say "Hi!" to them and we even got to take a picture with some of them. I got to take a picture with Jeff Maker (he's a Lighting God I tell ya!!) and Evan Kirkendall (FOH Sound).
With Jeff Maker aka The Lighting God
With Evan Kirkendall the FOH Sound guy. heehee we look adorbzzz :)
We then saw Zack (bassist) walking all alone. I ran to him with Mariel. There were some girls who got there first and made him sign some cds. But he stopped signing them when he saw a huge group of fans running towards him. ARGGHHHH. This is so frustrating. Anyway, he then left because he still needs to eat his breakfast.
We waited there for what seemed like eternity. We then saw Jack, Zack, Rian, crew members and Ovation Productions people passing by. BUT STILL NO ALEX GASKARTH IN SIGHT. I felt so hopeless because we still need to meet up with some of Frances and Mariel's friends in Katipunan and it's kinda far from where we were. I kept on praying to God for Alex Gaskarth to come down. I felt like crying already. I sooo wanna take a picture with him. I went all the way from Cagayan de Oro just to meet them and see them play live. I prayed soooo hard to God.
GOD IS JUST SO AWESOME. ALEX GASKARTH CAME DOWN. ALONE.
Girls ran to him and hugged him. I ran to him, I wanna hug him too but I couldn't 'cause there were these girls hugging him already. Plus he even told us, "Guys, I'm really sorry! I really shouldn't be doing this right now." He kept on apologizing and there were these hotel security people trying to control the small crowd. All I ever managed to do was hold his left arm and call out his name. YES I WAS SO NEAR HIM.
To be honest with you. I am making up stupid excuses. "Oh, I can't go near him because there were these other fans crowding around him." or "The hotel security people are trying to control the small crowd." I could come up with a million other reasons why I didn't get to take a picture with him or have him sign my notebook or even hug him.
I got scared.
Of what you may ask? I DON'T KNOW. :( Of getting rejected prolly? BUUUUTT.. I'll never let this live down. :( I am so sad. I let that once in a lifetime chance slip off my fingers. I WAS SO CLOSE TO HAVING IT ALL. But.. ARGHHHH. I am just so frustrated right now. I can never forgive myself for being so stupid and second guessing myself. That's my problem! I keep on overanalyzing every situation I am placed in. It's sometimes a good thing because I saved my ass from getting kicked.. but.. there are times we just need to wing it. Try and actually do things instead of saying "What if.. ?" I am just really depressed right now that I cried so hard this morning. I don't know if I'll ever get a second chance and that's what hurts soooo much. I know I did get to meet all four of them during the album signing. But we're not allowed to take pictures. SUXXXX
So.. there goes my baby (as what Usher would have it) haha.. HUHUHUHU Lord, I need a second chance. Please. :( But the chances are slim. Oh well. Regrets, regrets, regrets.
"I like to remind myself I was lucky enough to have had time with him at all." I'm trying to get through all of this mess with this quote. :') Hopefully, that gaping hole inside my heart would soon heal.
A BIIIG THANK YOU TO FRANCES FACTURA FOR THE PICS <3 <3 <3
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