You're not whole.

"Loneliness is dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people." -Hedonist Poet

In so many ways, I know I could fully identify with those very words. It's always so easy to stay on the inside. To keep on watching the world from your own room... through the windows. 

I can't figure out what's wrong with me all this time. 

I know I'm not the same person before the storm.

Who was I even before this storm? 

I'm still retracing my steps to find out who I was exactly.

I just don't want to deal with my feelings because... ewww feelings. I just can't take it. Which is why I resort to ignoring it, shutting it down the moment I start to feel something, feel anything really.

But to quote Murakami, "She's letting out her feelings. The scary thing is not being able to do that. When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, you're in big trouble."

Then I guess I'm screwed.